Working Through Ego

I’m receiving gifts and blessings everyday and it’s overwhelming.  I’m not complaining but there’s just been a lot to process.  It’s gonna sound strange but I’ve had a fear of success.  The unknown territory, the promised land, for a long time, has just been a theory, hope or wish.   What is my life going to be like when I accomplish my professional goals?  How are people going to treat me?  I have to remember to stay grounded and not get swept away by compliments.  Trust me, my ego is alive and well and it wants to tell me that my success was all my doing but it wasn’t.  I had lots of help.  I guess keeping an attitude of gratitude is the principle I must try my hardest to practice.    Sure, it feels good hearing from other people how well I’m doing but it actually makes me uncomfortable.  Humility is not something that comes natural to me.  Being cocky and arrogant is my default setting, being humble is not, but I have to stay humble in order to keep the gifts that are being given.  There’s so much to learn on this journey called life.  I’m not going to be perfect at it so I have to accept my humanity and try my best to be a better person everyday.  I have to do the next right thing for the people around me to show how grateful I am.

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