Trust

Is this really happening?  Sometimes I have to emphatically and strongly soul search then take a long hard look at where my feet are.  I didn’t get here overnight and I have to remember those stark times when my feet were dragging or stomping or trudging.  It’s been an incredible journey thus far.  I’ve battled the doubts, the disbelief, the disillusionment.  I had to make a lot of outlandish mistakes.  Some decisions of mine were a complete 180 from what very wise people in my network were suggesting.  I paid dearly for those mistakes but it was necessary and important that I learned from them.  The moments are going to come again.  I will be wrong again.  However, the path has already been placed.  I just have to continue following it and yes, it really is happening.  Speaking of the path already laid down, my belief in a Higher Intelligence is strong and I have to rigorously depend and rely on it.  He made me the way I am, faults and all.  God has the power.  I lack power and have to continuously ask for His will to be shown, otherwise I’m kinda lost.  I’ll go back to disillusionment.  I’ll go back to relying on myself who makes bad decisions without the guidance of my Higher Power who speaks through the wise ones.  If I don’t listen to that, my free will, will either kill me or save me.  I choose to be saved-one day at a time.

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