So I just found out that I need two more surgeries and need to cancel my tour because of a bad car accident I was in. I’m really quite angry and frustrated. I hate having limitations. I’m used to handling everything myself and not having to ask for help. I guess this is a lesson in humility. I have to humble myself and ask others to assist me. However, I’ve been conditioned to not rely on people. It’s like I’m in a constant handicapped state. I know this too shall pass and after my surgeries I won’t be in nearly as much pain. Pain is the touchstone to growth they say but I’ve been in pain for almost 2 years now. Yes I definitely have grown wiser in the last 2 years but I can’t help but to think how much better my life could be if I didn’t have ruptured discs in my spine. Everything happens for a reason so the only conclusion I can come to is that I needed to slow down. I needed time to work on myself and to get sober once and for all. In that case, I’m grateful for my current circumstance. Gratitude has to come first above all else or I won’t succeed and achieve my goals.