Even warriors get bogged down. The fluidity of life is sometimes gradual and sometimes abrupt. This week has kicked my ass. Without any notice, I got thrown off my routine and I’ve been trying to get back on it like a desperate swimmer, drowning and reaching for the life ring. Maybe I was thinking too highly of myself and my achievements. Perhaps my ego was in full swing and I needed a reality check. Yes, even I can falter. It’s ok. No matter what happens, I have to continue to accept the turbulence, trust the process and try to realize where I may have gone wrong. For me, self confidence can be a booby trap in disguise. I can have a succession of victories and start taking all the credit when the credit due is more His (my higher power) than mine. Is it necessary to believe in oneself? Absolutely! Is it wrong to believe in oneself so much that you forget who gave you the ability to do so? Let’s just say it becomes apparent when narcissism overrides what little humility I have acquired. Staying humble is a tall order especially when successes seem like it was all my doing. To be honest, I’ve had little to do with any of my successes. It’s all been grace. I have to remember to be grateful that I got mercy instead of justice. I’m blessed to be able to do what I do. However, I can lose all the blessings just as quick as I got them if I forget to be grateful. I don’t mean to sound like a religious zealot because I’m not one at all. I’ve decided to live my life by spiritual principles of action and part of that practice is to admit when I’m backsliding into old behaviors. The bottom line is to recognize where the problem is and resume living with purpose by His standards as soon as possible.
Furthermore, today marks a day in history when perseverance, determination and purpose defied the unthinkable. Bloodshed and tears painted the land in hopes of a promise to freedom. Freedom didn’t come at once and it certainly wasn’t free. First, to those who serve or have served in the military, my appreciation couldn’t be correctly captured in words. I honor you by living a free and purposeful life regardless of what others might think. Second, to the families who have lost their loved ones to war, your grace and dignity inspire me. Happy 4th everyone and God Bless